Lessons Learned in CT

We're moving from Connecticut in less than two days!!  Our time here has flown by, and I thought I'd share some tidbits that I've learned about the area and myself during our time here.

Some things I've learned during our time in Connecticut:

1) Even more so than accommodating a baby (naps, feedings, etc.), tides can dictate your schedule!  Weekends and weekday evenings when we wanted to get out on the water on our paddleboard and kayak were scheduled around high tide.  We learned our lesson quickly after Daniel hauled the paddleboard down to the water one of those early days we were here, only to find out the marsh was mud at low tide...

High tide...

2) Lobster, when done in a non-fancy, brown-paper-on-the-table, no-utensil type of way, is one of my all-time favorite meal experiences!  We've bought lobster from a market several times, boiled it at home, and enjoyed it with friends and family.  Waaay better than some fancy "which fork do I use?" type of dinner!  ;)  Also, Shipyard Pumpkinhead beer pairs quite nicely with lobster.

3) Corn on the cob can, in fact, be incredibly tasty.  I was always fine with corn on the cob, just never craved it or would have described it as anything better than fine.  Until I met Connecticut sweet corn.  Seriously, it's amazing.  Who knew?

4) I. Love. Fall.  I feel like I've never fully experienced a fall, growing up in Texas and living in South Carolina and California.  New England falls are definitely all they're hyped up to be!  Cool, crisp morning air that smells like wood fires; a spectrum of leaves ranging from deep, rich purple to fire red to Tennessee Volunteer orange (that one was for you, my Daniel), to sunshine yellow; lots of trees to turn colors (we're not in Texas anymore!); cider mills; pick-your-own apples; cinnamon honey lattes (yeah, go try one!)...  Also, it turns out that any day that Daniel and I thought the weather was perfect, was, exactly, Monterey's normal weather.  Lows in the 50s, highs in the 70s, sunshine out with a breeze?  Yup... we miss you, Monterey and your perfect oh-so-many-things.

5) New Englanders call "local" produce "native" produce.  It's weird.  I will continue to call it local produce and refuse to join them in their awkwardness.


6) Schooner is pronounced 'skoo-ner'. You know those words you've only ever read, and you've been pronouncing them in your head a certain way while reading them for all your life, only to find out you've been pronouncing them incorrectly in your head all your life? Yeah... I was definitely saying 'shoe-ner'.

7) Never lease a place from craigslist sight unseen. Yeah, I know... it seems obvious. However, from the time we found out we'd be in CT for a few months, we thought we'd be shacking up in the Suisse Chalet on base for 3 months.  Yeah, it sounds fancy.  It is a hotel room with a small microwave, bathroom sink/tub, queen size bed, and spotty internet, and we'd have to pay $11-22 additional each day for Cooper & I to stay with Daniel. We were prepared for ~3 months without a kitchen, so when we found out we could deny government quarters, we jumped on the decision and agreed to the only place we could find in the area that rented furnished for such a short period of time.  Ok, so there was one other option, but the idea of sink baths for a 3-6-month-old babe sounded less than ideal (there was no tub).

Overall, this place has been great to us, and we absolutely love the area we live in. I'm thankful every time I use the pink-countered, broken-ovened, exposed-plumbing kitchen. It's really quite nice, as long as you don't open the fridge door while operating the microwave (flips the circuit breaker) and remember to watch your head while opening the cabinets (they aren't actually secured in place, as Daniel found out early on). The place is full of charm and quirks, and we'll have memories that will make us laugh for a lifetime. It has prepped us well for Hawaii housing, and our "wish list" has become much, much shorter.  I couldn't care less about double sinks in a bathroom - I'd just prefer flooring that covered the sub floor all the way to the wall. Walk-in closets in the master? Psshh... any closet will do!

Our "closet" for the last 3 months.  On a good day it slightly leaned... bad day, the poles separated and it all came crashing down. Ha.

Open concept would sure be nice... but we'll settle for a hallway that you don't have to turn sideways to walk through. (FYI: if you're ever building a house, the chimney - even for a non-working fireplace - runs all the way through the second floor, so you'll need to account for that in your second floor plans...)

It's a 3-foot-wide hallway... except where the fireplace takes away 2 feet of it.

Maybe our landlord will actually fix the toilet that's been broken since the second day we moved in before we leave... but probably not.  :)  I'll miss this place with its quirks and character...

8) Connecticut has lots of farms. We have at least twice the number of farmer's markets/ farm stands near us here in Connecticut as we did in California! Totally unexpected, but very appreciated!

9) In case there was any doubt, I am definitely an extrovert.  I'm learning to embrace and nourish the few introvert tendencies I have, but overall I definitely feel revived, refreshed, and energized when I'm around people. I was used to be calendar being packed for months, but when we arrived here, it was suddenly empty and I craved time with people. 

and... now for a much deeper one!  Stop reading here and come back in a few days when I post pictures of our little guy if you were looking for a light read.

10)  I become very self-conscious when not frequently affirmed.  For most (if not all) of my life, I've been in situations where I could study hard and get a good grade, I could work hard and apply to things and get a position or scholarship, I could win a starting spot on the vball court, etc. For this, I'm extremely thankful for the work ethic that my parents and family and friends have instilled in me and the talents that I've been given. Seriously... thank you.

However, being a mom is not externally affirming.  There's no one grading me on my "mom skills", or awarding me gold stars at the end of the day.  Combine that with a (very) part-time job that is remote and is very individual with little feedback, and my days are much, much different than they used to be. I didn't realize how much I relied on feedback, awards, positions, etc. to give me confidence.

My husband is an incredible man and husband, but he can't (and shouldn't have to) solely fill that need in me.  And, it's a need that I don't want to have.  If being affirmed is a way that I naturally receive love, I'm totally ok with that, but I don't want to doubt myself and become needy if I'm not constantly told I'm awesome.  Gross.  Soo... I'm thankful that I've found another rough edge in my personality that needs to be worked on, and now that I'm aware of it, I've been working on knowing who I am and being confident in that weather or not I have external feedback.

Actually, I'll take a moment to tell you how I realized this, in case it will help you identify something in your own life:

I realized that over the past few months I had been doubting a few of the close relationships in my life that mean so much to me.  I was feeling a little hurt by one, slightly judged in another, and like I was becoming burdensome in a few.  They weren't overwhelming feelings, but if I have legitimate issues in my close relationships that affect the depth or quality of the relationship, I bring them up with the person and try to talk through them.  However, as I contemplated bringing up these issues with the other person (basically deciding if they were legitimate or not), I started to see how many of my relationships I was feeling insecure in.  That, in combination with a good talk with a very wise woman in my life who came to visit us here in Connecticut (love you, Angela), made me realize that the issue was not with the the other people, it was me.  I was feeling insecure in the relationships (manifested by feelings of judgement, being burdensome, hurt, etc.) because I was feeling insecure myself.  So then I started putting together why I was feeling insecure: my need for external affirmation that has probably been there for a long time but I'm just becoming aware of it because I've usually been in circumstances where that need was met. Again, glad I've realized it and here's to getting rid of that dependency and growing!


So, there's my list. I'm thankful for our time here and for all of the things I've learned. I would say I was ready to move on, but it's a bittersweet feeling because our next stage involves Daniel and I not physically being together, and eventually not even being able to communicate while he lives on a submarine for a while.  But, what an adventure these next months will be! Movers come tomorrow to pack a little bit of our stuff and we'll haul the rest around the country with us for the next months!  Here's to our next living-out-of-suitcases adventure!